Anger Management

CAN YOU MANAGE YOUR ANGER?

THERE are two kinds of angry people — explosive and im­plosive. And as Jack Nicholson tells Adam Sandler in the film Anger Management, "Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store." That pretty much sums up the need for anger management .Experts tend to believe that anger is merely the problem., "Some people are just chroni­cally angry and in the habit of being angry. Giving in to their demands is like offering an alcoholic a drink." If you scratch below the surface, there's a lot of pain and hurt that needs to be addressed.. -We have to learn to manage the pain, be­fore one explodes."Psychologist points out that the treatment plan calls for a lifestyle change so that patients learn to "respond rather than react". We believe in empowering our clients with the three As —awareness, acceptance, action and then teach them problem-solving techniques. Discipline is also important.", "When an emotion begins to hamper you and your fami­ly life, it's time to seek the help of a counsellor. We should learn from our mistakes and cut down on expecta­tions which set us up for disappoint­ments."Control anger before it controls you.— learn to approach the prob­lem in a straightforward manner.
Intra-communications trainer uses a 15-minute movement meditation technique in his sessions, performed to music. where one focuses their anger on anirksome issue. It's difficult to cross the initial stages of anger, he says, with­out breaking down. .Anger is nothing but a defence mechanism.
There are various triggers for anger ranging from mild irritation to violent outbursts. For instance, about an ag­gressive child, whose real problem lay in an over-disciplinarian and over­critical mother: wanted things to go his way and a young man who felt stress and de­pression build up after witnessing the 26!11 terror attacks..
'Anger stimulates the release of the hormones adrena­line and cortisol into the bloodstream, which mobilise the body in the short-term, but can be destructive if chron­ic." Pent-up anger can also lead to a rise in blood pressure and ulcers.
To deal with stress and anger, Bad­hwar suggests spending 10 minutes of quality time on your own everyday or sipping a cup of tulsi chai. The key, though, is to remember that a temper is the one thing you can't get rid of by losing it!

• Tips To MANAGE ANGER
  I Relax. Think of a place or a time that you particularly enjoy.
  I Counting from 50 backwards shifts brain activity from the emotional to the analytical part of the brain, decreasing the intensity of the unwanted emotion.
  I Laugh often and watch movies that tickle your funny bone,
  I Don't jump to conclusions. Listen to others.
  I Instead of revisiting hurtful events in your mind, forgive the person who wronged you.
  Have a healthy diet. adequate vitamins are vital for your body.
• With children dont over stimulate them with their hobbies etc

Stress Management

Inner Engineering
New Age Therapies
§ QUANTUM HEALING: Helps to increase vibrations of cells by increasing metabolism
§ NLP (NUERO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING): A theory of language, communication and thought that helps in improving the way people interact with the world.
§ CRANIO SACRAL BALANCING: It balances our neurological system. Gentle manipulations release restrictions.
§ I EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE: A tool that works on the body's energy field and releases negative emotions restoring its 'balance'.
§ I REBIRTHING: It is a special breathing technique which releases traumas, conflicts, stresses and past memories.
Heal yourself at work through new age alternative therapies
DON'T buckle under stress at work. It's time for some inner engineering.
Organisations today can hardly afford employees falling ill from stress. Companies like TCS, Infosys and Wipro have in-house recreational centres like theatre and clubs for bibliophiles, adventure and trekking, where employees can unwind., "These pgrammes are essential them work out their prob­lems."
There's a variety of new-age therapies that can help you unwind: Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) for interacting bet­ter with people, emotion­al freedom technique (EFT) for freedom from negative emotions, quan­tum healing and re-birthing for positivity

"EFT helps deal with any painful emo­tions that one may be harbouring."
Hospitals use NLP to help terminally ill patients fight stress, while Vimhans has been using bio-feedback and NLP. These therapies help you get rid of phobias, manage pain, even prepare you for public speaking and teach you to create rapport.

It seems nobody wants to be bound by their emotional baggage. So, let loose!

Body language During Interview

TIPS ON BODY LANGUAGE DURING INTERVIEW
Body, Language' speaks volumes about you
In an interview, 'how' you present yourself is as impor¬tant as the answers you give to potential employer's queries. When you walk in a room there will usually be a short exchange of pleasantries and ice breaking. It is designed to put you at ease but these initial moments are the most formative and judging. Body language conveys all sorts of messages, and the right body language will convey the message of a well-balanced and confident individual. It is ad¬visable to keep certain points in mind about your body lan¬guage when you prepare for an interview Here are some tips:
How to present yourself
 When you meet the interviewer, a pleasant natural smile, a firm handshake and a brief exchange of words is enough.
 Take the polite, conservative route.
 Wait to be told to take a seat or ask if you may, then say thank you.
 Sit comfortably but with good posture. If - you dont know what to do with your hands, keep them folded in your lap. Both feet should be on the floor, you may lean slightly towards the inter¬viewer.
 Don't play with your hair or your hands. Keep your hands out of your pockets!
 Maintain eye contact with the interviewer Avoid staring or you might make the inter¬viewer uncomfortable.
 If there's more than one interviewer, look at who's talk¬ing. When you're talking, shift your glance from one to the other
 Don't over use your hands to gesticulate.
 Try to be natural. Do nod to show you're listening to the interviewer
 Be professional at all times and mirror your interviewer's behaviour.
 Try not to create barriers in communication, like a brief case on your knees, file in front of your face or crossed legs.
 Try not to appear nervous
 apprehensive or disillusioned.

Take a note on few body postures and what they mean:
 Crossed arms - means that the person is in a defensive and reserved mood.
 Crossed arms and legs -means that the person feels very reserved and suspicious.
 Open arms and hands -means that the person is open and receptive.
 Standing with hands in side the pockets - means he is not sure or feels suspicious.
 Standing with hands on his hips - means he is receptive and ready to help you out.
 Sitting in a chair shaking one of the legs - means he feels nervous and uncomfortable.
 If his eyes are downcast and face turned away - means he is not interested in what you are saying.
 With the palm of the hand holding or stroking his chin -means he is in an evaluating position and being critical.
 Leaning back in his chair with both hands clasped behind his head - means he is in an analytical mood, but it is also a gesture of superiority.
 Rubbing or touching his nose when answering a question - means he is not telling the complete truth.
 Maintains good eye con¬tact and smile means he is relaxed, happy and definitely receptive to you.
 Rubbing the back of his head or rubbing or touching the back of his neck - means the conversation is not really interesting.
 Avoid palm-down gestures as such signs as they are generally reserved for authority figures.

Tips for telephone etiquettes

22 TIPS OF TELEPHONE ETIQUETTES
1. Pick the phone, at worst, at the third ring.
2. Set / have a standard greeting.
3. Create a dialogue not a monologue.
4. Speak pleasantly (creating a good rapport
5. Smile on phone in order to have a good pleasant voice or tore.
6. Sound alert and active – let not your voice sound lazy, tired, and rude,
bored or disinterested
7. Use a low pitch tone, high pitch will sound like shouting.
8. Use a vocal response not dead silence.
9. Be polite or courteous to all calls irrespective of the circumstances.
10. Use simple words that the caller will understand. Avoid industrial jargons.
11. Don’t eat, sip a drink, and chew gum while on phone.
12. Listen very attentively.
13. Don’t work or do other things while on phone, the caller can sense your
distractions.
14. When transferring calls, whether in coming or out going, identity each party
to themselves
15. Don’t keep the caller on hold for more than sixty seconds without
communicating your effort.
16. Say ‘thank you’ for holding on. The caller feels appreciated
17. Return all calls promptly – if you were not available. When people call and
the recipient is not available, ensure you deliver the message.
18. Treat every call as a first time call.
19. Treat all calls as customers, all customers as friends
20. Your phone should not ring in a meeting; either switch it off or put it on
vibration.
21. When ending your call ensure there are no unfinished business. Let the
customer sound pleased ask “is there anything else I can do for you.”
22. BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE ON THE PHONE. IT GOES A LONG WAY YO SAYING WHO YOU ARE

Body Language

Body Language
Eye ContactEye contact is the most obvious way you communicate.. Maintain eye contact about 50% of the time in order to look interested, but not aggressive.
Facial Expression
Facial expression is another form of non-verbal communication. A smile sends a positive message and is appropriate in all but a life and death situation. Smiling adds warmth and an aura of confidence.
Mouth
Your mouth gives clues, too, and not just when you are speaking. Mouth movements, such as pursing your lips or twisting them to one side, can indicate that you are thinking about what you are hearing or that you are holding something back.
HeadThe position of your head speaks to people. Keeping your head straight, which is not the same as keeping your head on straight, will make you appear self-assured and authoritative. People will take you seriously. Tilt your head to one side if you want to come across as friendly and open.
ArmsHow receptive you are is suggested by where you place your arms. Arms crossed or folded over your chest say that you have shut other people out and have no interest in them or what they are saying.
The best place for your arms is by your side. You will look confident and relaxed. If this is hard for you, do what you always do when you want to get better at something - practice. After a while, it will feel natural.
Body angle
The angle of your body gives an indication to others about what's going through your head. Leaning in says, "Tell me more." Leaning away signals you've heard enough. Adding a nod of your head is another way to affirm that you are listening.
Posture
Posture is just as important as your grandmother always said it was. Sit or stand erect if you want to be seen as alert and enthusiastic. When you slump in your chair or lean on the wall, you look tired. No one wants to do business with someone who has no energy.
HandsControl your hands by paying attention to where they are. In the business world, particularly when you deal with people from other cultures, your hands need to be seen. That would mean you should keep them out of your pockets and you should resist the urge to put them under the table or behind your back. Having your hands anywhere above the neck, fidgeting with your hair or rubbing your face, is unprofessional.
Legs
Legs talk, too. A lot of movement indicates nervousness. How and where you cross them tells others how you feel. The preferred positions for the polished professional are feet flat on the floor or legs crossed at the ankles. The least professional and most offensive position is resting one leg or ankle on top of your other knee. Some people call this the "Figure Four." It can make you look arrogant.
DistanceThe distance you keep from others is crucial if you want to establish good rapport. Standing too close or "in someone's face" will mark you as pushy. Positioning yourself too far away will make you seem standoffish. Neither is what you want so find the happy medium. Most importantly, do what makes the other person feel comfortable. If the person with whom you are speaking keeps backing away from you, stop. Either that person needs space or you need a breath mint.

Public Speaking Anxiety

Public Speaking Anxiety: Everyone is Judging Me! (Good one)
Many people express fear of public speaking - which is quite a large category of fear when you think about everything that might be considered public speaking. But is it really "speaking" that they fear, or is it something else? What people are really afraid of may be something much more personal:
* Fear of being judged
* Fear of not being liked
* Fear of being boring and not having anything worthwhile to say
* Fear of being exposed as an imposter - as someone who isn't really an expert
* Fear of losing one's place during the talk
* Fear of making mistakes
* Discomfort with being the center of attention

Public speaking is perceived as a venue for scrutiny, and much of what people really fear is that their flaws will be revealed. Is your biggest fear on this list?
Now ask yourself these questions: How many of the fears on the list are based on reality for you - that is, you absolutely know that they will happen? How many of them have happened to you before? Which fears might you be able to decrease or lose entirely - with preparation, practice, and letting go of rigid expectations of perfection?

Today's pointers are not about you. They're about your audience. Today's pointers are also about reframing, or training your brain to perceive the situation of public speaking in a different way.

Pointer #1: People want you to succeed
The audience is not sitting there hoping you'll fall on your face. The audience doesn't care if you mess up. Even if you make a mistake, everyone can relate. We've all been there, and we're all human.
It's actually much easier to relate to a speaker who is human and imperfect than it is to relate to an overly polished, overly slick speaker. Put yourself in the audience's shoes for a moment. You've been on the other side many times - did you ever want the speaker to fail? Of course not!
People want to connect with the speaker, have a relationship with the speaker, whether they are conscious of this or not. Your job, as the speaker, is to build that rapport with the audience. The more you connect on an emotional level, the better the audience relates to you.
Before the event, while you're visualizing your successful presentation (you do visualize your successful presentation, don't you?), say to yourself, "People want me to succeed."

Pointer #2: People want to learn from youThey have come because they are expecting to learn something new or hear something interesting from you. They know you are the expert. They don't know how nervous you are; they don't know that you feel insecure. They expect you to know what you're talking about. And guess what - you do!
Think of yourself as a teacher. You are there to convey information that your audience needs and wants. Nobody can deliver this particular information the way you can. Your content, style, and delivery are all unique and special to you. Take pride in your ability to pass along this valuable information to your audience.
Remember this phrase: "What's in it for them?" If you put the needs of the audience above your own concerns about how you're being perceived, you will find great satisfaction in meeting those needs, and your fears will become secondary.
Before the event, while you're visualizing your successful presentation, say to yourself, "I have valuable information to share, and I know my stuff."

Pointer #3: You can't always tell what your audience is thinking
Have you ever looked out into the room where you're speaking and noticed someone sending e-mails from his handheld device?
You're rarely going to have the full attention of everyone in the room when you give a presentation. People have too many other things on their minds, and that's just a reality that all speakers face.
You might be the most intelligent, engaging, and humorous speaker they've ever heard, but someone in the room will not be paying attention. Are you going to focus on the one person who appears to be nodding off, or the 47 people who are smiling and enthralled?
Something else to keep in mind: not everyone expresses her/himself in the same way. We all know this rationally, yet we still feel uncomfortable and anxious when we spot someone who appears to be bored or distracted.

A participant may process your words better while doing something else, like reading e-mails, playing a game, or doodling. Some people hear better when they're not distracted by visuals, so those people may not be making eye contact with you or looking at your materials. They may be paying attention to everything you say, but in a way that's not familiar to you. You may even be surprised when one of these audience members comes to you at the end and tells you how much they enjoyed your presentation!
Now, if half of your audience appears to be nodding off or scrunching up their faces in confusion, there may be some basis for shifting gears a little. Do pay attention to your audience throughout your talk, and make an effort to read their body language so you know where you stand. There are plenty of good books and articles online about body language if you'd like to learn more.
Before the event, while you're visualizing your successful presentation, say to yourself, "I am an interesting and engaging presenter."
Practice reframing the way you perceive your audience, putting your attention on meeting their needs, and using positive affirmations before speaking engagements, and you will greatly reduce your public speaking anxiety.

Dress for Success

Dress for Success

Putting on the the right business attire will get you on track to success. In this lesson, learn the basics of accepted office attire.

Why All the Fuss About Dress When Companies Are Going Business Casual?
As the business world changes, many of the formal office dress codes of yesteryear are becoming more relaxed. Depending on the type of business setting you work in, you may see extremely casually dressed people all around you. But don't kid yourself -- people still judge you by your clothes. It's part of that critical first impression. And first impressions are difficult to change.

Obviously, you must follow a dress code if your company has formal guidelines. But in many offices these days, the "What do I wear?" decision is a strictly personal decision. When you're dressing for the "new" business world, keeping the following two rules in mind should help simplify your decisions:

1. Dress according to your corporate culture.
2. Dress like the people with whom you are doing business.

Dress According to Your Corporate Culture

How you dress at work depends largely upon your industry, the amount of client contact you have, and the overall culture of your company.
How do you know what your corporate culture dictates? At some companies, your employee handbook will cover the topic of appropriate office attire. If your handbook doesn't cover this or you are still unsure, you can always ask your supervisor about appropriate dress.

Dress According to the Position You Want in the Company

If your company doesn't cover dress in its employee handbook, look around at other people in your office. Here's a hint if you want to get ahead: dress like the people one level higher than your position. If you're a front-line employee and want to advance, dress like your supervisor. If you're a middle manager and want to move up, dress like upper management.
You'll Never Go Wrong with This Advice


Business Dress for Women
Here are some key points women should keep in mind when making decisions about appropriate business attire:
1 Understatement is the hallmark of the well-dressed. Generally, five minutes after a business meeting, your associates should not be able to remember what you were wearing. They should be able to remember that you were well-dressed. If people remember your clothes, then your clothes are making the statement -- not you.

2 Mirror Your Company's Image. Even if it's casual Friday, if you're expecting a client at your office, or you're going out of the office to meet clients -- keep in mind that you are a reflection of your company. Always look your best when meeting with clients and customers.

3 Be Neat. You can wear a $600 skirt suit, but if your blouse is wrinkled or there's a grease spot on your jacket, you've just blown your professional image.

4 Don't Be Revealing. Whether intentional or not, blouses that are too low cut, slacks that are too tight, and dresses or blouses that are transparent send a strong non-verbal message: that you're not authoritative, competent, or reliable.

5 Dress for Daytime. If you have an after-work engagement, bring a change of clothes to the office and go to the restroom and change after work. Wearing eveningwear to work is always a bad idea.
6 Avoid Tackiness and Trends. Colors that are too loud, fabrics that are non-traditional, and extremely trendy clothing send a message that you either don't care about proper business dress or you don't know what proper business attire is. Either way, you lose credibility.

Business Dress for Men
Believe it or not, there are more rules for office dress for men than there are for women. One of the most often-overlooked aspects of men's business attire is accessories.

1 The Tie. This traditionally has been considered the most important accessory for men. Some people maintain a tie should express your individuality; others advise being safe and conservative with your tie choices for business. (The guideline here is the same as for women's business attire: people will always forgive you for being too conservative, but few people will forgive you for not being conservative enough in most business situations.) Keep your tie width in line with the width of your lapel; wear wide ties with a wider lapel, narrower ties with narrower lapels.

2 Hats. Hats carry more connotations than any other accessory. Choose a hat style that looks good on you. The only exception: never wear a baseball cap to the office.

3 Belts and Suspenders. Coordinate belts with shoe color. The widest acceptable width for the office is one-and-a-quarter inches. Suspenders are meant as an alternative to a belt -- not an addition. Coordinate suspenders to the tie. How wild you get with patterns and colors is dictated by your corporate culture.

4 Jewelry. Less is more. A wedding ring, a watch, and perhaps one other ring (such as signet or family crest) are acceptable. Bracelets and neck chains are rarely acceptable in any business setting.

5 Eyeglasses. Don't let your frames date you. Choose updated styles that go well with your face shape.

6 Umbrellas, Wallets, and Pens. The black umbrella is still best for business; leave the bright-colored ones for casual weekends. Wallets should be thin, of high-quality leather, and dark in color. And, don't opt for a $1 plastic ballpoint pen. Choose a writing instrument of high quality.

7 How Much Hair? The clean-shaven look is still preferred in most workplaces. However, a well-trimmed beard is usually acceptable.

The Difference Between Casual, Business Casual, and Formal Business Attire

Many people are confused -- and rightly so -- about what is appropriate for "business casual" attire. Below are some general definitions and when to use each type of attire.

Casual Attire.
Casual attire usually refers to clothing worn when relaxing on weekends or your days off. This includes worn blue jeans, inappropriate shorts, sandals, sweat suits, T-shirts with slogans, tank tops, and cut-offs. Unless you're at a company picnic, casual attire is not acceptable at the office or on so-called "casual Fridays."

Business Casual.
Business casual refers to clothing that portrays a professional, yet relaxed image. Clothing that falls into this category includes: dress slacks, shirts with a collar, mock turtlenecks, khakis, and loafers for men; low-heeled dress shoes, casual blouses, and casual fabrics for women. It does not include bare feet in shoes -- even though this has become trendy on the East Coast. (Men and women should always wear socks or hosiery -- even on casual Fridays.)

And a word about grooming on business casual days -- just because the dress code is slightly relaxed doesn't mean you can relax your hygiene or grooming.

Formal Business Attire. This refers to the traditional business suit for men and the skirt or pantsuit for women. Formal business attire is appropriate when meeting with customers or clients, or if you work in an industry (such as banking, finance, or law) that dictates formal business dress.